The Stinson Marriage
by jamie55
Summary: When Barney is pulled into a wedding, his mother gets the chance to stop it. But is it too late? And - the much much more presing matter - will Barney meet his father? Meanwhile a 'Jack Black' character keeps Barney entertained. No really, he does.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Dedicated to MS-Manuscript, definitely gonna say I consider him one of my closest friends (does that sound sappy?), so I hope this is to his liking because the son-of-a-bitch wasn't able to even hint at what kind of fic he would like.

A/N/N: For those playing this out in your minds, "Gerald" is (in my head) played by Jack Black. You'll see.

* * *

Barney tried his best to keep up, but his mom was a fast walker. As she tugged him behind her, a strong grip on his arm, he found himself wishing he could have stayed home with James. Then again, he didn't have much choice in the matter.

So here he was being pulled about and, by consequence, being squeezed and shoved into the mass of smartly dressed people who turned and looked at the young boy and his loud mother. They all seemed so happy and excited – confused at the sight of a woman, in what one would hope was not her Sunday's best, who was yanking an eight year old towards the church, but other than that they seemed very nice.

They glared down, frowning and puzzled as Barney passed before them. His mother made no acknowledgement of having bumped into them. He was sure she had a good reason – although he certainly couldn't think of one right now. She hadn't told him anything, just said to follow her and left James at home to the care of their neighbour.

They shoved and pushed their way through until finally, they made it inside the church. It was much quieter inside. His mom pulled him into a corridor and then another – this was a big church – and then, at a fork in the road, she stopped.

"Barney," she said without looking at him, "I need you to stay here and be a good boy for mommy, okay?"

"But we just got here," he was puzzled.

"Yeah, but you gotta stay put, alright?" Her head twisted about, peering through doors and passages.

"I wanna come too." He didn't want to be left alone.

"No Barney, you gotta stay here for now."

"But how come I had to come if you were gonna just leave me here?"

She turned and bent down to his level, gripping his shoulders, "Barney, stay here until I come get you. Understood?"

"But – "

"Stay," she ordered, tightening her grip. Submitting to the request Barney bit his tongue and gave her a quick nod. "Good." She released him and walked away, turning back once before disappearing in a passage way and leaving Barney alone.

He took a deep breath, observed his surroundings and was quickly distracted by a delightful sight – there was an open window overlooking a tree just beginning to blossom. It was pretty; the smell of grass was within reach and he could hear the birds chirping cheerfully above the faint voices from the crowd in front of the church, whispering among themselves. He could see the top branches stretching out towards the sky, its leaves just beginning to rise into the sunlight. A package of feathers flew by, and Barney eyes widened as he took a few short steps to the window in hopes of an enjoyable view.

--

Loretta knew her chances were slim, but she had to try – if only for the money (not that it was her only reason). One last plea, maybe it was a little cliché to do so on his wedding day but what else could she do? Yesterday was gone and tomorrow he would be married – she might sleep around but she wasn't going to have an affair.

Turning another corner her thoughts ran wild.

_I can't believe... How could he marry that stupid smug bimboe...? I'm not enough? I'm hot damn it!_

They met almost ten years ago at a bar and, within one sensualising week, she knew...

_Why couldn't he come find me? We had something... We were great, we had chemistry... we were special..._

He was smart, funny, handsome... Everything you're afraid to let yourself want... But she did... She wanted him.

_Didn't we have something?..._

They had a few fights... broke it off... threw it all away – and over what? Some meaningless disagreements. She was an idiot.

She rounded the corner and heard the hushed sound of nervous chatter coming from within the door she faced. She knew that voice.

The handle turned and, as her blood rushed and her heart jumped out of her chest, the door opened up. Jude Chapin seemed as stunned as his former lover.

"Lorrie?"

"Hi," her voice croaked. "Jude." Her breath was lost and it was apparent that his reaction was similar, though he soon recovered.

"Lorrie," he quietly asked, "what are you doing here?"

"I...," a quick glance to the ground seemed to level her head, "I need to talk to you."

A second man peeped his head from inside the room to look outside and shot Loretta a smile, "Lorr, girl, how you doing?" Loretta, still stunned by the sight of Jude – he looked different in a suit... –, ignored Gerald to the best of her abilities. "Haven't seen you in a while," he gave her a daring look and inspected her body, jingling his eyebrows.

She looked away, painfully aware of the situation; she was just some slut to them.

"This isn't a good time, Lorrie." Jude bleakly said, his tone chipped and his eyes solemn.

"If only you could've passed by on Friday," Gerald continued, his eyes surely imagining her without pants on. "Jude had the lamest bachelor party you could think of," using his hand as a weak barrier between his mouth and Jude who stood less than a foot from him (as the two were still squeezed in the door) he whispered, "Someone forgot to get a stripper."

Jude glared at his so-called friend, "Gerald..."

"Okay fine, _I_ forgot to get the stripper."

"Gerald."

"Yes?" His smile and amusement quickly vanished, just as soon as Jude's angered tone dimmed to sobered gloom. "Right then, I have to... uh..." He managed to pull himself out of the door, gently bumping into Loretta and Jude. "To do that thing... I know! I should have done it before but you know me."

"Yeah I know you..." His voice was grave as his gaze levelled back to Lorrie.

"Uh, Jude," Gerald called before turning the corner, "The ceremony starts in 38 minutes so..." Both Jude and Loretta turned to look at Gerald who was awkwardly tapping his wrist with a strange grimace on his face.

"Right," the lightness that was moments ago auditable, withered as the reality once more struck them both. Loretta swallowed the lump in her throat. "I know."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Forgot before, but obviously I don't own the "Barney" character, and not really "Loretta" either. I'll take credit for Jude and Gerald though.

* * *

Birds bounced around the tree, from limb to limb, chirping in a joyful celebration. Barney grinned as he tried to balance himself on the tips of his toes, his eyes following a small bird with brown speckles on its wings, its head twitched this way and that, taking in all that was to be seen. It didn't seem strong enough to fly yet – which might explain why it hadn't taken flight like the other birds who had jumped from their branches and engaged in mid-air summersaults, amusing themselves with others. But maybe it could, if it really wanted to... If it got the right encouragement, maybe the wings it bore wouldn't matter, if only it had someone to learn from... Didn't birds go to some sort of flying school? Or was that just left to their parents?

But Barney wasn't able to ponder the nature of flight any longer because he was suddenly pulled away from the window by a strange and unseen force.

"And who are you?" Asked a dark haired man with a pudgy face, he gave Barney a side-ways grin.

Barney glared back, "Well, who are you?"

"I am the best man," he proudly declared, adjusting his bow tie.

"Better than who?"

"No, dude," he said chuckling at the child's ignorance, "I'm the best man at this wedding."

"Wedding?"

"Yes sir-ree, the wedding of Jude Chapin and Therese Sobym, now..." He sighed deeply and adjusted his footing to more comfortably observe the youngster at equal eye height. "Where are your parents...?" His eyebrow rose and, tilting his head slightly upwards, he narrowed his vision as if the answer were written on top of the perplexed boy's nose. "So?"

"I came with my mom..." Barney finally conceded.

"Of course you did, champ," he stood back up and offered his hand to the small boy who glared up in perplexed disagreement. "No? Okay then, follow me."

"My mom told me to stay here."

"I'm sure she did."

"She did!"

"Yes, yes," he concurred, desperate not to have the boy begin to cry out and make a scene. "Shh... Okay, okay, she did," his eyes inspected the halls, assuring himself that no one had heard his cries. "But!" he enthusiastically added, "but, I believe I saw her looking for you in the main hall."

Barney looked him over with great disbelief, "You don't know who she is."

"I don't know – _I don't know?!_" He dramatically stated in shock and seemed hurt by the comment, "You think that _I don't know_ who your mama is?"

"Do you?"

The man pondered a moment. "Well no, I don't. I might, what's your name?"

"Barney."

"Barney, that's a cool name." He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few steps towards the main hall. Barney stood his ground. "You're like Barney Rubble, then. _Do you know_ who that is?"

"Of course I do!" Barney said, walking forward to better converse with the man. "He's on the Flintstone."

"Yes he is, and he is awesome."

"But Fred is the star of the show; Barney just makes stupid jokes and laughs." He said now calmly strolling down the hall.

"What? No. No, no, no, you're completely misunderstanding his role. Barney isn't just the funny neighbour, he's Fred's wingman!"

"Wingman?"

"Yeah, you know what a wingman is, don't you?" The small boy shook his head. "A wingman is the best friend who helps his pal nail- uh... I mean, meet uh... girls. He is essential in any friendship."

"But Fred is already married."

"As is Barney." Barney stared up at the strange man, awaiting further explanation as he was lead down another hallway. "Which brings me to the more important role of Barney Rubble."

"What's that?" They had now reached the mouth of the main hall, where clumps of people, all dressed in their best, were walking in murmuring in animated fashion and seated.

"That Barney isn't just making jokes. He and Fred are best friends, and that, little man, is as strong if not stronger than any marriage or relationship."

"Really?" Barney squinted – he must be wrong.

"Sure, they were together before getting married, still are." His smile changed, earning the sincerity and credibility of his words, at the very least, the benefit of the doubt. "Barney's not just comedic relief, he's Fred's best friend. There's no replacement to a best friend."

"Isn't Fred friend with Wilma?"

"Yeah but she's a chick, doesn't count."

They had both stopped walking, Barney barely realizing that he disobeyed his mother's orders. Gerald took a look around the mess of people wondering who brought a kid in jeans to a black tie wedding.

"So, Barney," Barney looked up to the man, "Uh… What's your last name again?"

"Stinson."

"What?"

"My last name is Stinson."

"Barney Stinson?"

"Uh huh."

"As in... Loretta Stinson's son?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is part 3 - I guess. Debated writting a bit more for this part but... eh. Had enough trouble with it as it is.. Damn characters... It'll be fine! Plus it was just a nice place to pause. Should write the last part now.. - uh.. I mean.. finish the last part... Look an interesting bird! *runs away*  
Written for **msmanuscript**

* * *

As soon as Gerald left, Jude had motioned Loretta into his now empty changing room. He closed the door, kept his back to her, and busied himself by buttoning his clean, pressed white shirt.

"What are you doing here?" He quietly said, avoiding all eye contact.

"I had to see you." She was trying to stop him from getting married, to get him to come home with her, to see if they could be together, if they could be happy... "You know why." Why pee around the bush? "Don't do this."

He didn't answer and kept his head down, watching his hands buttoning his shirt.

"Jude?" His head moved up and his hands paused inches from his top button, but he wouldn't turn around. "Don't get married, Jude."

She felt her heart tremble and hated herself for thinking this would work. "I love you."

Blood rushed to her head, her eyes stung and her stomach knotted. She was desperate for his affection, for him to come back to her, for them to be happy again... Just to have him turn around and look at her…

Jude's shoulders sagged as he ran a hand through his blond hair; he took in a deep breath and turned around. He looked at her not with warmth and affection, as he once did, but with annoyance and contempt of his association.

"Lorrie we've been through this. It's been over three years – "

"Three years and eight months," she faintly muttered.

" – since we broke up." He sighed in aggravation, "Which was all your fault," he grinned in fanatic exhaustion at the wreck of the situation and shook his head as if it were an etch-and-sketch.

"I didn't…" She tried to protest but her reason and recollections fell away. All the times they lay smiling in bed, the Friday night dates to the café…. Three years and eight months ago it was mutual, wasn't it? Almost nine years ago he couldn't handle it all and ran out; she had scared away, he said. Ten years ago he was a stranger in a bar who bought her a drink. "It wasn't always my fault!"

"Of course it was," he turned back more frantic than ever, "I was trying my best to take care of you and, and of…" he didn't want to name him, so he deterred from it and moved on to what was vital to his argument. "Don't think I didn't know where you went while I was hard at work."

"What do you –?"

"You would leave…" he motioned the empty space before him, signalling the boy, "leave him alone! And go off to the closest bar."

"No, I didn't!" Well not much. (It gets boring after a while. Besides it's not like she was _doing_ anything. Just went to the movies a few times; tried to relax, away from the demands of children.)

"Meanwhile _I_ was making sure there was food for four on the table, seeing as I had to feed that other one too."

"His name is James."

"James is none of my concern," he blankly said. "Far as I see, you should've had them both taken care of."

"Marianne died from that operation," Loretta softly said, remember her once lively friend.

"She had it coming. The girl was like a tunnel, trains passing at all hours – something was gonna stick someday. Which – sorry – but you should've thought of too."

Lorrie gulped back the uncomfortable insult before defending her actions. "I went out a few times, sure –"

"I knew it," he chuckled judgingly.

"– but I never slept with anyone else when we were together and I always made sure Barney and James were alright."

"Yeah, right," he turned to look at the mirror as he attempted to arrange his tie. "It doesn't matter anymore. I moved on a long time ago and – in case you haven't noticed – I'm about to become a happily married man."

This was going about as well as Loretta thought it would. She'd forgotten that Jude could be jerk. But, deep down, she remembered all the good times they had, how sweet he could really be – when he was in a good mood. Everyone had an off day. And having your ex show up on your wedding day was never welcomed.

She tried one last desperate plea. "What about Barney, then?"

"What about him?" There was a lull and, having suited himself, Jude turned to Loretta and raised an eyebrow in an effort to have her explain.

"Do you," she took a shaky breath, "do you want custody?"

"Custody?"

"He's your son too. And since you're gonna have a happy family…" He frowned at her, mystified and offended by such an idea. "He would probably be happier with you… "

"Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want him," he laughed, "and I know Therese wouldn't either."

"A boy needs a father…"

"He had one, business done and he is welcomed for the whole giving him life thing."

"But he's so like you, if you just –" It was at this awkwardly crucial moment when Loretta was about to propose that Jude meet his son, if he could just see him she knew he might change his mind, it was now that Gerald opened the door.

"Jude, therrrreee... Oh Loretta," he paused, a sudden change as he had run into the room. "I... I didn't think you'd still... Uh..." He glanced nervously between the two. "Jude can I talk to you alone?"

"Just say it man."

"Yeah I don't think –" he tried to explain, worry clearly spread across his face.

"Spit it out, Gerald!" Jude's nerves were running thin.

"Barney's here."


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4  
A/N: Yup so one more part left… Seeing as it's a five-part series. What? I never said I'd finish it all in 4 parts! That's ridiculous – that's ridonculous. It's got 5 parts, deal with it!  
Written for MS-manuscript. Review? Yes, yes?

* * *

Barney was once again left alone. That man, who pulled him away from his previous spot, had quickly found a quiet bench to have him sit on and, once again, to wait. Sadly there was no window nearby, but he did have a nice view of everyone entering the main room. Dozens of men in suits and women in pretty dresses had passed him by, all joyfully buzzing and gossiping, before entering the main hall.

He got up from his seat and cautiously advanced, looking back in the direction the man had jog to, to get a better view of the action. He had never been to a wedding. Peeping inside the room he saw a large room with rows of seats on either side of an alley which lead to a small stage on the other side of the room. Everyone was seated – except for a few adults at the end of the alley – and he didn't see his mom...

That guy said he would find her. He's been gone a while now... How long could it take?

"'Scuse me," Barney was tapped on the shoulder and looked up to meet a woman in a light blue dress. "This is invitation only. Are you lost kid?"

"Uh..." She tensely awaited his explanation, her black hair neatly pinned back and her gown creasing lightly as she posed herself, ready to toss the lost boy out of the refuge for hopeful souls – maybe he should have double-knotted his shoes?

Barney searched his mind for his reason of being. He was waiting for his mom? – this wasn't his idea, _he _wanted to stay home and watch 'The Price is Right' – that man told him to stay put – he didn't even own a suit (except for that Halloween costume).

"I uh..." She looked ready to kick him out; outraged at such an unfit speck's presence at such a formal and orthodox celebration, but, just as she opened her mouth, a different voice reached them.

"Marcella!" The man from earlier had appeared from the corridor. "Marcella, hey, how are – how are you?" He grinned tightly and pulled her away from Barney who stood by, glad to be rescued. "Listen... I can't uh..." His amiable smiled forcefully widened upon seeing Barney who was still nearby and staring at the two, perplexed but more than ready to have their attention turned away from him.

The man pulled Marcella further away leaving Barney to eagerly hope that they would forget about him in light of their new problem and that his mom would come back before it was all over. Barney turned to observe the large hallway once more, while Marcella paid close to the man's babbling, hoping to be enlightened this on muddled situation.

The main room was lovely. It smelled of old wood and fresh flowers, littering amongst the aroma of so many perfumes and colognes and hair gels of the sort. On the other side of the room he could see a large banner and two enormous bouquets of flowers arranged side by side with an old man standing in between the two. The seated crowd was still humming and murmuring but they seemed all present. By the old man, at the end of the aisle, stood a much younger man with dark hair who was talking with a woman who was dressed in the same pale blue as Marcella's dress, she looked much friendlier though.

A door opened up on the left side of the room, towards the other end, and a man with blond hair walked out. He caught Barney's attention, something in his stance, though nobody seemed to notice him, at first. He took a moment to look around the room before slowly closing his door. There was something about him that greeted a faint familiarity, but Barney couldn't say what or why. He didn't have the same anxiously delighted visage as the rest of the guests; one could even say he seemed shaken and disappointed, stressed and unnerved by the scene.

But a thought appeared to strike him, because at once his demeanour changed; his shoulders relaxed, his posture straightened and a single sigh released itself before the curves of his mouth calmly twitched. He walked towards the old man, a peaceful smile now on his face, and spoke a few words to the three members who had waited by the end of the aisle. The dark haired man gave his friend a pat on the back, smiling with approvable and encouragement, while the woman in blue then nodded and happily made her way down the aisle to the door and to Barney.

It was then that, for a moment and only a moment, Barney's eyes met with the man at the end of the hall. It was only a short instant, and Barney did not understand why it struck him as memorable, but in that one moment, as the bride's maid rushed past him, Barney and Jude's eyes attached to one another. The sounds of the room dimed down and it's movements slowed as the man smiled vanished instantly, replaced with solemn contemplation – much to Barney's ignorant understanding. The man's eyes traced upwards, just above Barney's head, and within another moment it had passed and the man turned back to his friend with a renewed grin.

"Hey buddy."

Barney looked up. "Hi, did you find my mom yet?" He spun around to get a better of the man and found that Marcella was gone, but his mom was still not here. "Where is she?" He took a few steps away from the door, following the man footsteps.

"She's uh, got a few papers to sign – grown up stuff, real boring," he grinned awkwardly. "Let's sit down, okay? I'll keep you company while you wait. Oh, just… hold on a minute." Gerald motioned Barney to the bench and quickly marched up to aisle. Leaning out into the doorway to the main room, Barney observed him; he made his way to someone sitting down, silently calling them out to join him in the aisle. He turned back to Barney and smiled, pointing out a single finger explaining that this should take a minute or so, before walking the new man to the left side of the room, to the same door that that curious blond man came out of.


End file.
